I'm in First Place

Being the youngest child growing up, I had the constant desire to outcompete my older siblings. This tendency started very early with the game called “I’m in First Place.” It was simple; all you had to do was do something and yell out “I’m in first place!!” and claim your victory. The victorious activity could be anything from drawing to eating to running into a new room. Our favorite version, however, involved running into a new room and sitting down on a random piece of furniture, and calling it “First Place.”

Unfortunately, being the runt meant being the slowest at just about anything for a substantial portion of my life.

 
 
 
 
So after consistently landing myself in “Third Place,” I grew desperate. I didn't have the sheer speed necessary, but I needed a win! I decided to resort to covert measures to take my share of “I’m in First Place” victories by catching everyone else off guard instead.

 
 
 
Over time, the couch became my predictable “First Place” choice, so my brothers would deliberately run there, thus attempting to eliminate any advantage I may have. So I would pick the piano bench instead.

Or the cat.

Then I eventually picked the green chair. The green chair was a seafoam green velour chair that for some reason rocked like a rocking chair—but in any particular direction. It had never been an issue, given my small size relative to the furniture.

One time, we were coming home from school. Being that I was within a strategically advantageous proximity to the door handle, I took my chance. As soon as my mom unlocked it I burst through the threshold.

But my overly eager little body was too much for the green chair to handle at the insane speed I had taken in my excitement. The result? My first lesson in physics: the definition of momentum. 

Immediately, my mom and brothers ran over to the chair to see if my enthusiasm had finally gotten the best of me in my own game.

They were so wrong.

And that is when I became the ultimate champion of “I’m in First Place.”

In my opinion, anyway.